It was always me
by ShadowhunterParabati
Summary: My First fan fic. MY version of Champion. DISCLAIMER I do not own legend or prodigy or champion
1. My Weakness

_**(JUNE)**_

He is gone, my light I am surrounded in darkness… Day he has vanished. Tears stroll down my cheeks they burn and I realise that I am crying. No June hold it together I tell myself Sadness is the first sign of weakness. You need to be strong .Something does not feel right he was hiding something I could tell. What could possibly be wrong? He doesn't forgive me. Seeing, me everyday reminds him of the things he has lost. His mother who was shot right in front of him and I couldn't do anything about it, his brother who died to save his life because he was in jail BECAUSE I PUT HIM THERE. I tricked him I failed to realise what was right in front of me. How could I have possibly thought that everything would be ok? He said" I love you" and I didn't even say it back! I insulted his paper-clip ring! He lost Tess …You need to be strong I keep telling myself but it's no use now the tears are flowing uncontrollably. I am sat in the corner crying. Metais I need him now. Now more than ever. I need him to tell me that everything will be fine. NO! Sadness IS the first sign of weakness. I am strong. I am strong. Tomorrow is a new day a new beginning. I will forgive and forget…

I have settled back into a routine. Each day I do the same thing. I get out of bed. Get my uniform. Iron it until no crease can be seen .Spotless perfect… I see Day every day. We are the glue that is holding the Republic together. I give him a glance and then a slight smile. I don't hate him. I am not one of those clingy girlfriends. I am solider in the republic and I can't afford to be weak. Outside I may look tough. Yet inside I still I get a shiver down my spine when I see his blonde hair move in wind and his brilliant blue eyes like when he emerged out of nothingness and saved me. I will forget the past. I just need time.


	2. Lying in my arms

(DAY)

Time is something that I do not have. I am dying. I think about all the things that I done that I regret. I feel a rush of guilt. About what I said to June. How I could I have just left her like that? I am selfish. After, everything that she has sacrificed for me I still left her. She is like me. She also has lost her family like me. At least I have Eden she has no one. Maybe it is for the better without me there she will be able to have a luxurious life filled with parties, money and food with Anden now she will be his Princeps later as his wife. It's not like she loves me, yeah, she didn't even say it back! I enjoy Eden with me he makes me forget everything that has happened. At least he is with. Whenever I go for my 'job' the republic take extra special care of him just to please me. At least they give me that much after all they have taken away from me.

June has moved on. Each day when I see her she just glances at me and then a slight smile. She doesn't come over to me to talk to me. I guess she doesn't need to anyway. It's not like we ended on good terms. Each day she comes out of her flat and then goes back in. Never have I seen her outside. June is standing there lifeless. Engaging in politics, a serious face never have I seen a smile not even the slightest? I see her standing in there with her black republic uniform and her hair is in a tight pony tail as usual. Suddenly, all hell breaks loose … A shot is fired its going towards Anden. I start to run but it's no use there is no way I am not going to reach him in time. Soldiers crowd around the lifeless body. I rush towards it. JUNE she is lying on the ground surrounded in a pool of blood. She took the bullet for Anden. My June she is just lying there lifeless and not moving. No it was not supposed to end like this. She wasn't supposed to die. It was me. It was always me.


	3. Taking the fall

_**DISCLAMIER : I DO NOT OWN THE LEGEND SERIES **_

_**THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS MEANS A LOT TO ME**_

_**JUNE**_

I am talking to Anden now. I can't make out what he saying. I have gut feeling that something bad is going to happen. Usually when I have these feelings they are right. Like that time that Metais was murdered and that time when Day left. What is wrong with me? Why am I this upset? I should be -happy that I will be the Electors Princeps. The highest rank that any female soldier can be given. Right? Yes … Yes I should. This isn't the time to think about Day. "Vaccines for the plague will be free and available for everyone from tomorrow" Anden says to me in a bold strong voice. "That is great Elector "I reply. I give him a quick glance. He glances back and suddenly I feel myself melting. Day is standing in the other side of the room. I don't go to him. I don't want to. If he sees me I will feel guilt and shame. Reminding, him of the things that he has lost. I don't want to make him feel pain. He deserves better than me.

As we exit the meeting Anden and I walk together. He holds my hand and I feel myself melting again. Then I see Day talking to a girl. I feel a rush of jealousy. What is this I am never jealous. Then again Day has made me feel things that I have never felt before. I hold Anden's hand tighter and I can tell he is surprised. Everything is ordinary as I exit the battalion but something is not right. Two men enter and at first I can't tell why he is ruffling in his pocket but then I notice it's a pistol. Then everything happens in a blur. I can see the guards won't see them in time to stop them. I free myself from Andens grasp and I push him. Then I feel as though I am being eaten by an animal all I want to do is scream. I hold it in. Then I feel numb and I see Anden shocked and in anger. I see him and I smile I tell him its ok and he nods and then I am swept away.


	4. Why?

**Sorry for the long wait blame writers block:(Thanks again for the helpful reviews ...ENJOY**

_**DAY**_

"Find out who they are, bring them back ALIVE!" Anden Screamed. The guards run. Anden tells me to go with them but I don't he doesn't question me. I guess he understands. I go over to June. She looks so still it makes me feel a gut wrenching pain. 'She is going to die really quickly if she bleeds out like that.' I say to Anden. He is kneeling over her. Junes head was resting in Anden's lap "We have to get her to the hospital as soon as possible , Day would you hold her while I go speak to the guards … please" he seems that he is pleading. I nod. I know that I am meant to be staying away from but I just can't because I was dying not her. She is so lifeless I have never seen her like this even when we down in the tunnels even then I had a sense of relief now I just feel damn right hopeless. She just moved her hands! I stiffen my pose and wipe the grief off my face just to give her a bit of hope. She opens her eyes and never have I been so relieved in my life. She sees me now and she smiles even after everything that I have done to her and all that guilt is taken from my shoulders .Her hand reaches to my hair. I tell her to put it down but she doesn't listen. "Day…your hair is so beautiful" I couldn't help but smile. Then she laughs. I haven't seen her laugh like this in a long time. "Day you are perfect…your eyes they make my heart flutter". Hallucination: the first symptom of the plague. "Umm, June you are hallucinating" "Day…What's Wrong with me why does everyone leave me my parents, Metais and you!" My heart and is breaking and suddenly that rush of guilt is back. June is gripping my shirt then a gasp her eyes are closed then tears stroll down her cheeks.

_**I am writing a new fan fic on DIVERGENT message me any suggestions **_


	5. Just me and you

_**Writers block is killing me:( **_

_**Enjoy...**_

(JUNE)

_I am dreaming. I can tell because Metais is here with my stroking my hair while I lie in his lap. I take the opportunity to cry, to let it all out . This is what I needed, I needed my brother I needed him to tell me that everything will be OK! I needed him to comfort and, to tease me because of how much I am crying. To make me laugh something that I haven't done in a long time_!

My time with my brother is short lived as I am woken up by the sound of the ventilator beeping and the machine pumping blood into my body. I know that I have lost a lot of blood. My vision is blurred. There is an ache in my heart. It has been stitched probably to get the bullet out. The whole room is grey filled with propaganda. It takes exactly 4 minutes and 40 seconds for the nurse. "Are you alright" she says "I have been better" I reply "Well two people have anxiously been waiting for you to wake up , but they are going have to wait there is no way you can see until your vision is settled" "I do not mind please send them in" "We'll see what we can do " 10 minutes later they enter my heart is in my stomach I feel like I am going to be sick. Anden comes in he looks powerful and serious then followed by Day with his long blonde hair wearing his republic black uniform which I have only seen him wear a few times. Anden comes and sits next to me he smiles I smile not because I have to because I _want _to. Day goes to stand at the corner I am hurt but I know that's how it's going to be from now on, he steals a quick glance at me I notice because I can feel the heat of his stare on me but I focus on Anden and we talk halfway through the conversation he leaves. "Sorry June I forgot about the senate meeting that I had to go to" He says I can tell he is feeling really guilty "It's okay Anden I can understand it's not like I am completely alone" I regret those words as soon as they come out of my mouth . Then it's just me and Day .

_**Whats gonna happen? Will they get back together? DUN DUN...**_

_**REVIEWS SUGGESTIONS ALL WELCOME INCLUDING DIVERGENT SUGGESTIONS!**_


	6. Wanting what is not yours

_**If you have read the infernal devices by Cassandra Clare see if you can spot the quote! :)**_

(DAY)

What should I do? Should I stay here? Should I Stay with June? Should I leave? Of course I should. I can't just leave her when she needs me the most. After what she said when she was hallucinating I could never do that to her. As I stand in the corner she lays on the hospital bed her long black hair sticking against the white pillow. Her body suddenly goes rigid she winces with pain. I rush towards her. She looks I hesitate. "Are you okay June do I need to get the nurse"? "Umm… yeah I'm fine, Day if you want you can go I am not holding you here" Her words pierce through me "No June, why would you say that" She says nothing I understand. She winces again and then she screams I sprint outside get the nurse. The nurse runs inside gives her some pain medicine and then leaves. Is that it? They didn't even check her? As I enter back inside June's room something is different she is staring right at me usually she turns her face so that I can't see her. Her face is beaming then I understand they probably gave her a heavy pain medicine. She is laughing, and then she starts crying with laughter! _GIRLS_ I think to myself. Yet June she is not like most girls she is strong not just physically but also mentally. "DAY what are you doing? Snap out of it! If have been screaming at you for a minute I need you to take me to the shower room." I am shocked never has she been this forward to me since we broke up. "Ok June get up then!" I reply. Just like that she gets up. I scoop her with my arms and I am surprised how light she is. She flings her arms around my neck and she smiles at me. Somehow this feels right and I finally realise how much I miss her. I realise how much I want her lips on **mine** , her face to be the first one I see every day and the last one I see at night, how much I want to compete with her and argue with her for her to say sorry in her own special way but these were things I could not have because wanting what you couldn't have would only lead to misery and madness.

_DID U FIND IT! SORRY IF IT WAS A BIT BORING!_


	7. Still perfect when you are imperfect

(JUNE)

Day scoops me in his arms, why did I ask him? Was I being to forward? I wrap my arms around him, my feet dangling in the air. I can't help but smell him. He smells clean and fresh but underneath it I can make out the overdose of deodorant. His hair long yet still I realise that he has trimmed it, his hair is long enough to cover the collar of his military uniform. His skin tanned under the hot sun and his uniform is creaseless. His black military uniform filled with all his medals. He's got much as me in short space of time, I can't help but feel a bit competitive. Then I am broken from the trance that is Daniel Altan Wing, an overwhelming feeling takes over my stomach filling it with queasiness. I stumble out his arms I have to try hard because he is holding me too tight. Searching, for the toilet I run and then I find it rushing inside I lock the doors. I sit over it and empty the contents, but its blood! Running from my mouth…What's happening? Then once again I spill blood over the sink. I look at my reflection blood dripping from my mouth, my face shrunken to the bone, my hair messy in its ponytail. I look different. Have I become different? Then the silence Is broken I know its Day.

"JUNE. Are you okay" I can sense the nervousness in his voice. The blood I think to myself he doesn't need to see it. Nobody does. I turn the tap on pouring water on the sides. "June?" the voice comes again "Are you in there" "Umm…yeah I am fine just a bit sick that's all" I reply. "Can I come in" he asks. "No I'll open the door" Turning the taps off I unlock the doors with each click of the locks I hear a sigh of relief from the other side. Why? I think to myself. I open the door and as he sees me his worry fades slowly. He lifts his hand but just as quickly it's back at his side. I can't help myself. I have to know. Why? Why did he leave me ? No June he has his reasons and you have yours. I walk towards him as my heart takes control of my mind the logic going fuzzy. With each step his muscles flex, his posture tightens and his body goes rigid. I am so close to him that I can hear his breath. I can see his eyes even when they are imperfect they are perfect. I take the last step I can feel his breath now my body tingles. I rest my head on his shoulders, I don't care what he thinks. I wrap my arms around his neck and I just stand there.

_**THANKS FOR READING! :)**_


	8. I love you

_**I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE EASIER TO WRITE FROM JUNE'S PERSPECTIVE**_

(JUNE)

There were so many words unspoken between us, but I could not speak them because I was afraid that it would ruin the moment because these were the moments that I would cherish forever. "I miss you" I say in a moment of weakness. His hands wrap around my waist, he pulls me closer and I gasp with shock. He tilts in his head towards mine and our eyes lock and for minutes the rest of the world simply disappears. His eyes skim my body then as he lifts his hand he strokes tears away from my face which I didn't realise were flowing. Our breaths mingle again and in the heat of the moment I kiss him. He doesn't kiss me at first. Then he does, slowly then like mine his body was consumed by passion. His grip tightens around me. His mouth explores mine, my fingers get lost in his hair. He kisses my neck then my shoulder. Then he breaks from the kiss, I gasp for my breath. STOP I think to myself you'll regret it, but I can't I need him I should have fought for him. "Kiss me" I whisper. He does now there is more passion more need for each other. We stumble into my room never breaking apart. He kisses my forehead then my cheek, I playfully nimble at his ears. I feel his muscles flexing. With each kiss I get that feeling which I know that I am not supposed to be feeling, it will only break my heart more when he leaves me again. In that moment I want him more than I have ever wanted anything in my life…I pull him towards me as we crash into the bed. I unbutton his shirt and I fling across the room. My hands explore his bare chest; it feels rock hard against my fingers. He kisses the side of my neck. Then our lips touch again my heart beats faster. Then I say something that logic filled brain should never have thought of " I LOVE YOU DAY" I whisper. He breaks apart and stares into my eyes…

_**Steamy steamy... thanks for reading :) next chapter will be in Day's Perspective**_


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